Feeling great

Reguarding the interview from a few days ago. It went great, really hit it off with the person that I will report to. I have one more interview to go sometime next week. From what I hear, it he should like me no problem. I kind of have an inside track on this new job. Aren't good friends wonderful?

Anyway off to the Giant's/A's game to night at PacBell/SBC/AT&T park. I love this park and I love Giant's baseball, Barry Bonds and all. My sister went with someone else and bought season tickets this year. So I will have plenty of games to chose from between her and my uncles two sets. Now I just need to find some nice guys to take with me!

Oh so now I have been told by two different people that I am the straightest gay guy that they know. I guess this is ok, I really don't know. Any thoughts? I know that I am very str8 acting and that is how I stayed in the closet for so long., but there has to be somethings about me that are a dead giveaway. But I guess if you don't know my interests then you really wouldn't know that I am a HUGE Celine Dion fan. HUGE. HUGE. My friends used to always give me shit about that and I would just brush them off. So I guess you really wouldn't know. Ok thats it for today, I hope that I can get the blog a little steamer for you guys, but since I am going through a little bit of a dry spell right now, you just get me. Maybe next week, I will get my sex life back! Who knows.

Interview

Job interview today, yeah me. Wish me luck.

Crying

I so feel like crying right now, except that I can't. I am at work, sitting at my desk.

I had been seeing a guy, although just a couple of times, we hit it off big time. Then out of the blue he shoots me an email saying that he thought our cultures were too different. I told him that I disagreed and thought we should work it out. We then passed a couple of emails back and forth, nothing too major. My last email he did not get, got hung up in cyberspace. Anyway today about 2 weeks after the fact, my server here at work sent the email back saying it was undeliverable. I forward it on to him again. He emailed back stating that he thought I was pissed off at him and not wanting to talk anymore. I told him no way was that true, I had been thinking about him for the past two weeks and was wondering why he never responded back to me. So to make a long story short, neither one of us was angry at the other, just a cyberspace fuck up. So we chatted today for a little while. Then he says that since he didn't here from me for a week, he figured it was over and he went on a couple of dates. One of those dates has turned in to a little bit more. But he would still like to be friends with me. Whiich is great, but god, I wanted it to be so much more.

This is me take it or leave it! 

Homo Improvement

I guess I should explain my title a little. I am a huge do-it-yourselfer. HUGE. Everything I think that I can do and even somethings that I can't, I do anyways. My house (townhouse) is always in constant change. I have to have a little or big project going, or else I am just not happy.

Today for example, I was at my parents house, they still live in the house that I grew up in, the house that my mother grew up in for that matter. I was cleaning out the garage when my sights went else where. The door to the garage was falling apart and old. So off to HD I go and $156 latter, I had a new door and hardware. 2 hours later there was a new door installed, and a very satisfied gay guy. I should have taken before and after photos, but I am still new at this blog thing, and well learning.

So now I am off to my sisters and brother in laws to fix their toilet. Its a never ending battle.

Work..................Sucks big fat juicy cock

I work for a company that requires a 50 hour work week. Yes I work 5, 10 hour days Monday thru Friday, 6:30 to 5:00. Needless to say, this does nothing for my social life, or anything in my life for that matter.

(On a side note, I was telling my sister that a friend called on a Monday night at 9pm and said they were in the Castro and I should come up. I said are yo crazy its a work night. My sister replied, "I think this what we are supposed to be doing at this stage of our lives." Thats nuts.)

I have been trying to lose weight, but when you work that many hours, you really don't feel like doing anything when you get home. Now I know I have no drive, zero will power, but thats besides the point. I am in the process of looking for and interviewing for a new job. Monday thru Friday 7-4. A real job. A job that I know I will be great at. But it's also a job that most likely will not pay me what I am making now. Now I don't swim in cash. I have a very hard time making it here. After all it is the bay area where housing cost are through the roof. I do own my own (well 1/2) townhouse. But between mortgage payments, car payments, and all else, I struggle and struggle big time. Lucky for me, I have a sister, with whom I share the townhouse, that makes double what I do. So she does somewhat support me. But anyway, I want this new job for a couple of reasons.

1. More spare time. To do my home improvent stuff.

2. More time to concentrate on my weight loss. After tipping the scales at a whopping 377 after the new year, and nearly fainting, I decided to set up goals for myself.

3. To feel better about myself. I really don't care about the money. I can do side jobs to make up the difference. I just want to be happy. To want to go to work. Not drag my fat ass out of bed at 5:30 every morning to come home at 5:30 every night and just flop on the bed and get on line.

4. To be able to keep up with my cute nephews, they are 4 and 2 and getting to the fun stage.

Although I am fat, I am healthy. On more then one occasion I have been told by those in the medical profession that I am the healthiest fat person they have ever examined. Now this is good, but also bad. Good because I am not a health risk right now. Who knows in 5 years or so. Bad because I can't get any realy help. I want a gastric bypass but don't qualify because I have no health issues associated with obesity. That really pisses me off!

So anyway, back to this job. I have been with this company for 6.5 years. I am fully vested. But still ready to move on. The last guy that I was seeing, albeit for a very short period, questioned wether it was good decision to leave my job at this stage of my life. He figured it would be better to stay miserable in my job then look for another one. I am in my very early thirties. I have atleast 30 more years of work ahead of me. I am NOT going to subject myself to misery just because I am vested, NO WAY NO HOW, not me. I just can't take doing the same thing over and over again. I need variety. Maybe thats why I like being single so much. Feh oh well.

A little about me............

Well here it is, never thought I would be doing a blog. Don't really know where I am going to go with this so, if I peaked your interest at all, bear with me. This will be a blog about me trying to figure who I am still, and trying to find the muscle guy that I know is in me.

I am a 30ish gay native Californian male. Still living it up in the sunshine, can't beat this place! I am, I guess, newly out (less then a year). Went much better then expected but we will get into that eventually. High school graduate, some college. Working for the largest plumbing wholesaler in the country. I know very exciting. In the gay community I am considered a bear. Big guy, not too hairy, but enough. I am currently single, which I seem to prefer.

Growing up in a typical american family. Two sisters, mom, dad, grandparents 2 miles away. Very close knit family. Sometimes too close. 3 very good friends and a lot of aquaintances. Grew up in the home my mother grew up in. Don't want to go into too much dealtail, if I do I won't have anything else to write about!

Look for more posts, I hope.